


Just Your Average (Very Gay) Avengers Chatfic

by TheGayHasTakenOver



Series: Just Your Average (Very Gay) Avengers Stuff [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: All hell rains loose, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Approach with caution??? Idk, Avengers Family, Avengers chatfic, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, But it's an AU of sorts where certain things don't happen, Cannon What Cannon/Don't Know How to Cannon, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain Marvel Is To Busy Saving The Universe To Be In This, Cinnamon Roll Peter Parker, Cinnamon Roll Steve Rogers, Clint And Laura Are In The Middle Of A Divorce In This Btw, Clint Barton Is A Weeb, Clint Thinks Of Wanda As A Daughter, Darker themes added later on, Deadpool is an avenger, Demiboy Scott Lang, Demiboy Thor (Marvel), Demigirl Brunnhilde | Valkyrie, Demigirl Hope Van Dyne, Do not fuck with the women or you're dead, Domestic Avengers, Endgame messed up my emotions, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Is Hurting Over Something, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone is insecure about something, Everyone's A Fucking Meme In This, Everyone's Depressed, Everyone's a Good Bro, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Genderfluid Bucky Barnes, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Half Of Them Are Oblivious Dorks, Hela Is Alive, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, I Love This Cringey Shit For Some Reason, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I am the rarepair shipping queen, I can't write something without adding some angst, I ship a lot of ships, It's all in the back chapters that are yet to be published tho, Just so you know and don't get your hopes up, LGBTQ Characters, LGBTQ Themes, Legit half the Avengers don't give a fuck about self care, Like literally everyone, Loki Is A Sass God, Loki has a friend, Loki is a good boi, Look At Me Breaking The Stereotype And Adding More Out-There Things, Luis is a Good Bro, M/M, Multi, Natasha Is Team Mom While Tony Deals With His Issues, Nobody can catch a break, Non-Binary Carol Danvers, Non-Binary Sif (Marvel), OT5 is a thing now, Odin's A+ Parenting, Poor Gays, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-OT3, Pre-OT4, Protective Avengers, Protective Natasha Romanov, Rainbows, So just skip those when they're out if you don't wanna read that angsty stuff, Some characters will appear later on, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Steve hates politics, Straight What Straight/Nobody Is Straight, Strange Wanda and Loki are magical bros, Supernatual Creatures Are Real In This, The word guy and straight do not exist, There's a shit ton of headcannons in this, They're small and changed for the purpose of the AU though. So yeah, This is everywhere and has no theme whatsoever, Thor Is A Confused Puppy, Thor is a Good Boyfriend, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Thinks Of Peter As A Son, Tony is in a coma for the first few chapters, Trans Bruce Banner, Trans Everett Ross, Trans Hope Van Dyne, Trans Peter Parker, Trans Sam Wilson, Trans Steve Rogers, Trans Wanda Maximoff, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, Wanda Maximoff Is A Weeb, What Have I Done, Which is why there's some weird ass ships here, Why Did I Write This?, You're welcome for me being a depressed emo teen, and Trump, because I say so, everyone has PTSD, like a champ, lots of people have fine asses here, only gay, so don't take it personally, so this is happening now, there's a lot of angst, this is purely for crack purposes, well more or less
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-03-07 07:26:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGayHasTakenOver/pseuds/TheGayHasTakenOver
Summary: The Avengers get Discord.You can probably guess what happens.Gay, memes, angst, gay, ships, forthwall breaking, did I mention gay? There's a lot of gay.





	1. The beginning of this shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this trashy thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm going to say a few things before I get started.
> 
> #1. This is the first thing I'm publishing on here and I'll admit, I'm rather nervous at how people will react. I myself have Anxeity, and the thought of thousands seeing this does scare me to death. I'm going to move past that though and just do what I love!
> 
> #2. I have yet to see all Marvel films (as school and just life in general is a pain), so that's why some characters aren't in this. Others wil be added over time along with other realationships. But for now, I'm sticking with the ones I got.
> 
> #3. There will not be any major Endgame spoilers in this as I'm not the type to spoil things for people. There will be a quick mention of a few events though, but they are tweaked due to this slightly being an AU. But if you still want to avoid any spoilers at all, then turn back now and return (if you want) after you've seen Endgame. You have been warned.
> 
> #4. I have a Wattpad account under the username Miley-Mew, so if you see someone on any site that's not Wattpad with my username then it's NOT me. Just a heads up. I also have a Discord, but that isn't important.
> 
> Now, how about we get this party started?

_**~Steve added Natasha, Bruce, Clint, and 12 others to the chat~** _

_**~Steve changed the chat name to The Avengers Group Chat~** _

 

Steve: So I recently got this app and thought it might be a good idea if we had our own chat to discuss missions and stuff! Besides, it's a great bonding experience for us all as a team!

Bruce: Is it just me or is Cap radiating light?

Natasha: Not just you. Steve is a cinnamon roll. Always has been, always will be.

Peter: Hey guys!

Wade: Oh look, it's cinnamon roll number two aka my boyfriend!

Sam: BOYFRIEND?!

Sam: THAT MEANS I'M NOT THE ONLY GAY ONE HERE!

Wade: YES IT DOES BUDDY!

Sam: I WAS SO LONELY

Wade: WELL NOW YOU'LL NEVER BE LONELY AGAIN

T'Challa: Did someone say gay?

T'Challa: CAUSE I'M HELLA GAY!

 Sam: YES

Wade: GAYS UNITE!

Peter: Uhhhhh. Can I join your group?

Peter: I mean, I'm not fully gay, as I'm bi, but can I still join?

Wade: What do you say gays?

T'Challa: Eh. He seems like a cool kid so sure.

Sam: THE MORE THE MERRIER!

Wade: It's settled then. Welcome to the club my beautiful boyfriend!

Peter: Yay! :D

Natasha: I swear if you guys hurt a single hair on that kid.

Sam: *gays

Natasha: I swear if you gays hurt a single hair on that kid

Natasha: You're dead.

Clint: Spider mom protecc spider son

Sam: Don't worry, I wouldn't even dare to even think of hurting him.

T'Challa: Same here.

T'Challa: Unless he gives me a reason to.

Peter: ???

Wade: Yeah, pretty sure you don't need to worry about that.

T'Challa: True.

Steve: T'Challa! Glad to see you could join with everything happening in Wakanda!

T'Challa: It's a mess, but everything's getting fixed a step at a time. Shuri did a good job at being queen while I was gone, so some of the damage has already been fixed. Of course, Thanos' snap did dust 90% of the Wakanda population, so not everything was fixed. Still, I'm surprised at how much was fixed.

Steve: Well, I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. If you ever need a hand I'll gladly help out.

T'Challa: Thank you Captain. I'll probably take you up on that offer later. Besides, I'm sure Bucky would love to see you again.

Steve: How is Bucky anyways? I've been meaning to visit him, but with everything Thanos messed up, it's been a bit of a problem.

T'Challa: He's doing swell. The children absolutely adore him and the nightmares and panic attacks are decreasing by the day. Right now he's busy farming. He loves doing that for some reason. Not that I'm complaining though.

Steve: Well that's good to hear! I'll make sure to come out there soon, okay?

T'Challa: Fine by Captain.

Peter: That reminds me. Me and Shuri are supposed to meet up later to discuss possible upgrades to my suit.

Clint: So, like, a date?

Wade: Ex-Fucking-Cuse me?

T'Challa: Did you just say date?

Wade: With _my_  boyfriend?

T'Challa: And _my_ sister?

Loki: Well, that went from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds.

Loki: Anyone want popcorn?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I feel like I didn't do half bad with this. I love leaving people with cliffhangers, no matter how small they are, so you can expect a lot of them from this. 
> 
> The chapters will most likely be short little things, as I want to try and stick with a certain topic per a chap, but they'll be some longer ones. Promise.
> 
> Whelp, with that said, see ya later! ~Miley out
> 
>  
> 
> P.S: Sorry for any typos, my phone is messed up and loves to do this to me.


	2. Hi welcome to Chili's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor doesn't know what memes are, Steve is a cinnamon roll, Natasha watches Miraculous, and Shuri's a lesbian? Who knew. (Not T'Challa)

Rhodey: What happened here?

Sam: RHODEY!

Scott: Hi welcome to Chili's

Wanda: Omg yesssssssssssssss

Wade: LET THE MEMES COMMENCE

Strange: I just know I'm going to fit right in here.

Scott: Same lmao.

Steve: Lmao?

Scott: Laugh my ass off?

Steve: Why would you laugh your ass off? 

Steve: Better question is how would you laugh your donkey off.

Scott: Oh my god.

Scott: We have an innocent among us.

Natasha: Yes we do

Natasha: And I swear if ANYONE ruins his innocence you're dead.

Clint: Spider mom protecc

Steve: ???????????????

Peter: Hey guys!

Wade: *gays

Peter: Hey gays!

Sam: Good work Wade.

Wade: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Clint: Peter! How was the date?

Peter: It wasn't a date! We just went to McDonald's and discussed upgrades to my suit.

Wanda: So like

Wanda: A geek date?

Clint: See. Wanda agrees with me.

Peter: No! We're just friends! Besides, Shuri's a lesbian. She wouldn't date me.

T'Challa: Shuri's a lesbian?

Peter: ....................Maybe

Thor: Lebian? I thought she was African.

Sam: I can't tell if you're memeing or if you're serious.

Loki: He's serious. Thor doesn't understand memes. Much less know what they are.

Thor: SERIOUSLY THOUGH

Thor: WHAT ARE MEMES?!

Strange: I feel sorry for him.

Scott: We'll teach you the way of the memes Thor.

Thor: THANK YOU

T'Challa: BACK TO THE MAIN TOPIC HERE

Wade:  ~~Forthwall breaking is my job fellow gay~~

T'Challa: WHY DIDN'T SHURI TELL ME?!

Rhodey: Maybe she was scared at how you would react.

T'Challa: WHY THOUGH

T'Challa: I'M GAY MYSELF SO WHY WOULD I SNAP AT HER FOR BEING GAY?!

T'Challa: ONLY DUMBASSES WOULD DO THAT!

Rhodey: True. But did you tell her you were gay?

T'Challa: ......................no

Peter: SEE

Peter: YOU'RE IN THE SAME POSITION AS HER SO STOP YELLING ABOUT HER KEEPING HER SEXUALITY A SECRET!

Clint: Peter protecc his gf

Peter: FOR THE LAST TIME

Peter: SHE'S JUST A FRIEND!

Wanda: Guess who else says that

Wanda: Adrien Fucking Agreste

Wanda: But we all know Mari is more then a friend.

Natasha: Oh god. The flashbacks are making me want to punch something.

Clint: NAT WATCHES MIRACULOUS?!

Clint: BEST. DAY. EVER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: I actually got the Thor not knowing what memes are idea from an interview Chris Hemsworth (Thor's actor) and Tom Hiddleston (Loki's actor) had a while back. In the interview, Chris didn't know Tumblr was and even asked what it was. That little thing sparked my imagination and this is the result.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Til next time!
> 
> ~Miley out


	3. Bucky and Tony can't come to the phone right now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Tony can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cause they dead.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> They're not actually dead btw, just said that for the reference.

Steve: Is there any update on Tony?

Bruce: His vitals are normal and his injuries are healing nicely, but there's no sign on him waking up anytime soon.

Clint: How long has it been now? A week?

Thor: I belive it's been 3 days.

Clint: Why does it feel like it's been longer?!

Natasha: You two need to stop and chill for a second. Tony's a strong guy, he'll get through this. 

Clint: I know he is, but I can't help but worry. That snap beat him up pretty badly. Pepper even said she thought he was going to die!

Rhodey: I've know Tony since we were teens and through all of those years I know for a fact that Tony never goes down easily. He'll be up and back on his feet soon, I just know it.

Steve: You're right. Tony wouldn't want us mooping around over him anyway.

Rhodey: You're damn right on that.

Steve: Thanks Rhodey.

Clint: Yeah, thanks dude.

Rhodey: No problem.

 

 

  _ **~6:00 AM~**_

Wanda: Fuck I'm crying.

Natasha: Why?!

Wanda: It's so beautiful and heartwarming!

Scott: Ikr?!

Strange: Damn it Tony, why can't you just wake up already?

Sam: Strange being a mood right there.

Peter: We have to give it time. Like Rhodey said, Mr. Stark's strong. He'll wake up soon, I know he will.

Natasha: Exactly. So can you guys stop talking about it and move on to a lighter topic before we all get even more depressed?

Scott: Okay. Has anyone noticed how Bucky isn't here? I mean, he's part of the Avengers and Steve's boyfriend, so shouldn't he be here?

Sam: He's not here because nobody cares about Bucky.

Clint: Well damn Sam.

Rhodey: Sam, we've went over this. Stop being salty because Bucky accidentally ate your chicken nuggets once.

Sam: EXCUSE YOU BUT THOSE WERE MY CHICKEN NUGGETS AND NOBODY TOUCHES MY CHICKEN NUGGETS!

Scott: Isn't that cannibalism though?

Rhodey: No. Sam's called Falcon and has metal wings, but he's not an actual bird. Therefore, it's not cannibalism.

Scott: Okay.

Steve: I was going to add Bucky but, well, uhhhhhhhhhhh

Steve: Bucky and technology....................don't mix, to say the least.

Peter: It can't be that bad.

T'Challa: Kid, I tried to teach him how to use a microwave once. Once it started beeping to signal that the food was done cooking, he got so freaked out he yanked the microwave out of the wall and screamed something about it being possessed as he yeeted it, almost taking Agent Ross' head with it.

Clint: How-

Steve: Like I said, Bucky and technology don't mix.

Steve: At all.

T'Challa: The weird thing about that though is that he likes watching Shuri make stuff.

Clint: Oh, he did that with Tony while he was here too!

Thor: A weird one he is.

Steve: That's it!

Thor: I didn't realize I triggered you, Captain.

Steve: No no no. Everything's fine Thor. The reason Bucky is scared of technology is because he's afraid HYDRA is in it or has done something to it. He even told me himself and when I try to convince him otherwise he always asks how I'm sure. Now, if he watches someone he trusts make a phone and then we give it to him.......

Clint: Then he won't be afraid HYDRA did something to it and won't yeet it! And then we can teach him how to properly use it so he can join the chat!

Steve: Bingo!

Bruce: That's actually brilliant Steve!

Steve: Thank you Bruce.

T'Challa: I'll get Shuri on that right away.

Steve: I was wanting to see Bucky soon anyways, so this is the perfect way to do it. Like a suprise of sorts.

Clint: Won't it take a while to fly to Wakanda?

Strange: I could teleport him there.

Steve: That would be much appreciated. Thanks Strange.

Strange: No need to thank me. Just helping out the captain like any normal person would.

Thor: Where is Loki?

Scott: I'll do you one better, who is Loki?!

Wanda: I'll do YOU one better, why is Loki?!

Thor: You Midgardians are very confusing.

Sam: Thank you very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wade: Author-chan wanted me to let you all in on some things real fast. The first thing is about how the others will be joining the chat soon enough, but for now she's taking it rather slowly. She already has several chapters planned out, so we're just going along with it. Some ships aren't fully canon yet (as you saw with Steve and Bucky already dating but not the full OT4), but the reason behind that is because it's simply more author-chan's style. All ships will happen eventually, but for now, we hope you sit along for the slower build up. And before some start asking, yes, this does take place post Endgame, but in an Alternate Universe author-chan created with her imagination. With all that said, looks like it's my time to leave. So bye!


	4. Loki needs a hug, and a big one at that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More people join the chat, Wade has a thing against Captain Marvel, and Loki is very depressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't out a few days ago. Life's just been a huge pain. But hey, it's out now so yay!

Natasha: So, since Bucky is joining the chat, I was wondering if Pepper could join too.

Clint: I'm cool with that.

Scott: Oooooooooooh! Can we also add Hope? She needs to get to know the team better.

Wanda: I second both Pepper and Hope. We need more girls here. It's not that I dislike Natasha or anything. In fact, I love Nat, but I know she can agree with me when I say it's rather lonely being the only two girls here.

Natasha: You got that right, Wanda.

Clint: True. Almost all of us Avengers are guys. I mean, the Guardians aren't actual Avengers so they don't count and Captain Marvel is to busy to join this.

Wade: And she's a bitch.

Sam: Well damn Wade, why do you have a thing against Captain Marvel?

Wade: I have my reasons :)

Scott: Scary face

Wade: :)

T'Challa: Moving away from those faces before someone freaks out, I wouldn't mind Agent Ross and Shuri being here myself.

Peter: I would love for Shuri to be here!

T'Challa: I'm still watching you, kid.

Strange: I've heard about Ross. He seems like a cool guy.

Sam: *gay

Clint: Good one my dude

Sam: Thank you my dude

Wanda: This is the gayest thing I've ever read.

Sam: I mean

Clint: Wanda ain't lying 

Sam: We are very gay

Clint: But for other people.

Thor: I thought Barton was married though...?

Clint: We're in the middle of a divorce right now.

Bruce: I thought your realationship was going strong. What happened?

Clint: It's a long story.

Natasha: Yeah, well you better explain it to me later so I know whether or not I need to kill someone.

Scott: Did she just say kill?

Clint: Nat, no

Natasha: NAT YES

Wanda: ASDFGHJKLQZMP

Wanda: SHE MEMES

Thor: Valkyrie! 

Bruce: Oh yeah, I remember her from the Revengers. I'm sure she would fit right in here.

Scott: Revengers?

Thor: We created a team of people called the Revengers to help me take down the goddess of death and my sister; Hela.

Clint: THOR HAS A SISTER?!

Sam: :SurprisedPikachuMeme:

Thor: Yes but she's dead now so no worries!

Bruce: The odd thing about Hela though is that her and Loki are awfully similar.

Wanda: How so?

 

_**~Bruce has uploaded a picture~** _

 

Wanda: Omg.

Wanda: The similarities.

Bruce: Ikr? Almost makes me belive Thor is the adopted one.

Peter: So, Cap, what do you say about all this?

Steve: About Thor being the adopted one instead of Loki?

Steve: I think it's possible.

Wanda: YOU HEARD IT HERE PEOPLE, CAP SUPPORTS THE THEORY!

Peter: I meant the others joining thing but oh well.

Steve: Oh. Well then I'll gladly add them! The more the merrier!

Sam: Gosh. Why can't everyone be as nice as Steve?

Loki: Because the world is a fucked up place where violence rules all and innocent people die because of it. 

Clint: Well that's dark.

Scott: What did you expect from an emo?

Clint: True.

Clint: Still never expected to hear Loki say it though.

Loki: What can I say, I'm full of surprises.

Thor: LOKI

Thor: I HAVE FOUND YOU

Loki: Omg, Thor. I went to get tea.

Bruce: Now you know what I've been dealing with these past few hours.

Loki: I thank you for your sacrifice Banner.

Bruce: Thank you very much.

Scott: How does it take 4 hours to simply get tea?

Loki: It does when a stranger stops you every five seconds asking for your number.

Thor: What

Clint: Omg

Clint: Loki has fans.

Loki: Yes I do have two fans that I use to cool down in this treacherous heat, so what?

Clint: Wrong type of fans.

Scott: He means the type of fans that love someone or something.

Scott: In this case you have an army of fans that love you.

Thor: What

Loki: I don't see why anyone would love me, especially the Midgardians. I tried to kill all of them after all. Besides, I'm useless and unimportant. There's no reason to love me.

Thor: WHAT

Sam: Thor's reactions are killing me.

Clint: Same tbh

Bruce: THEY'RE HAVING A MOMENT HERE!

Loki: Don't worry about it Banner. Like I said, I'm not important. This just further proves it.

Thor: WHAT

Loki: Will you stop that Thor, it's just plain annoying. And stop acting like this is a surprise for you. You've know me since I was a baby, this isn't anything new to you.

Thor: Where are you?

Loki: What?

Thor: Actually, nevermind. Strange!

Strange: Yes?

T'Challa: He's fast.

Thor: Can you track down Loki's location like you did back when he went missing and I found him in a porta potty?

Clint: Why was Loki in a porta potty?

Loki: Unimportant. What?!

Strange: Sure I guess.

Thor: Thank you very much friend.

Strange: Sure...?

Sam: What is happening?

Loki: THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN ASKING FOR THE LAST FEW MINUTES!!!

Thor: I'm going to track down Loki and hug him.

Loki: Oh no

Scott: It can't be THAT bad Loki.

Loki: You have no idea. Once I was sad because my cat died. Well Thor decided to hug me to try and make me happy again. That hug snapped my back like it was a twig. I was 5 at the time.

Scott: I take back what I said, that's bad.

Loki: Yeah, it was.

Clint: How are you even alive?

Loki: That's what I've been wondering since I was born.

Wanda: Thor's looking for Loki?

Wanda: He does know he's in the kitchen getting a glass of tea away, right?

Loki: MAXIMOFF

T'Challa: Run, Wanda, run.

Wanda: Did I say something wrong?

Wanda: Oh.......

Thor: The kitchen you say.

Thor: Thank you Witch!

Loki: WANDA HOW COULD YOU BE SO DU-ASDFGHJKLWUCIP

Wanda: I'm sorry!

Steve: Did anyone just here something snap?

Peter: That would be Loki's back if I'm not mistaken Cap.

Steve: Why?

Steve: Actually, don't answer that. I don't think I want to know.

Natasha: Weren't we suppose to add the others here?

Wade: We were but author-chan got carried so that'll happen next chapter.

Natasha: Next chapter?

Peter: It's better not to ask, Ms. Romanov.

Natasha: Okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would've added a speach to the Wade hating CM thing, but I'm not wanting to deal with triggering a bunch of fans. I don't hate CM exactly, I dislike her and feel she could be better, but don't hate her. Now, I'm going to binge Thor real quick and then come back to update again. I need to catch up on the updates I missed anyways. If the next chapter is mainly Thor and Loki related, now you know why. Well, until later, bye!


	5. More friends join in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More people join the chat, Loki is very broken, and Strange almost dies via a grape.

_**~Steve added Bucky, Shuri, Hope, and 2 others to The Avengers Group Chat~** _

 

Bucky: So this is what you were tellin' me about Stevie.

Steve: Yep!

Clint: Bucky! Glad to see you here dude!

Bucky: Clint! Same here! I've been meaning to visit the tower, but I've just been to busy.

Shuri: He's doing a great job helping us rebuild Wakanda.

T'Challa: Shuri! He really has. We are thankful for all that he has done.

Bucky: It's nothin' really. You guys gave me a place to stay while I dealt with my little issue, so helping y'all rebuild is the least I can do.

Valkyrie: Not trying to interrupt the moment, but Thor did what to Loki?

Thor: I hugged him. 

Valkyrie: And that broke his back?

Thor: .................maybe

Valkyrie: Thor!

Bruce: Now that you mention it.......

Bruce: Hey Strange, how's Loki doing?

Strange: He's broken.

Bruce: I know that, but how broken?

Strange: Very broken.

Bruce: As in....?

Strange: So broken I don't know if he can even be healed.

Valkyrie: Are we talking physically or mentally here?

Strange: Both.

Valkyrie: Damn. That hug sure did fuck him up. You even managed to damage him mentally too.

Thor: I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HIM! I JUST WANTED HIM TO BE HAPPY! ;-;

Scott: Look what you've done! You made him cry!

Thor: ;-;

Wanda: We know it's not your fault Thor. If anything it's mine for not paying close enough attention.

Natasha: Enough you two. Nobody is at fault here but Loki for making Thor want to hug him in the first place.

Clint: Damn Nat.

Clint: I'm suprised Loki hasn't come in with some witty remark yet.

Strange: He can't.

Scott: Why not?

Strange: Because he's stuck in a straightjacket.

Ross: You mean a gayjacket?

T'Challa: Agent Ross! Glad to see you could join!

Ross: Please call me Ross your highness.

T'Challa: Only if you call me by my name instead of your highness.

Ross: Done.

Strange: So you're the Ross I've heard about!

Ross: And you must be Stephen Strange! A pleasure to meet you.

Strange: Same here!

Wade: Sherlock and Watson have been reunited.

Shuri: What is he talking about?

Peter: It's better not to ask.

Shuri: Okay?

Steve: Why is Loki in a gayjacket?

Sam: Because Strange is very kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Wanda: GAYS! GET HELP! STRANGE IS CHOKING ON A GRAPE!

Sam: OH FUCK I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN!

Thor: WHERE'S LOKI AT? I CAN YEET HIM AT HIM!

Clint: WHAT?

Bruce: WRONG GET HELP THOR! SHE MEANS SOMEONE HELP STRANGE COUGH UP THE GRAPE!

Thor: OH

Steve: ANYONE KNOW CPR?!

Bucky: I DO BUT I'M NOT THERE!

Natasha: FUCK

Peter: HOW DOES NO ONE HERE KNOW CPR?!

Scott: BECAUSE WE'RE ALL DUMBASSES!

Hope: THANK GOD HE FINALLY ADMITS IT!

Shuri: WHY ARE WE YELLING?

T'Challa: I HAVE NO IDEA BUT IT'S FUN!

Bruce: MOVE I'M GAY!

Thor: AND SO AM I!

Sam: ASDFGHJKL

Bruce: OKAY 1, 2, AND THOR PUSH!

Valkryrie: IS HE ALIVE?!

Strange: MY WHOLE LIFE JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES!

Thor: HE'S ALIVE!

T'Challa: THANK GOD!

Strange: I WILL NEVER EAT GRAPES AGAIN!

Ross: PLEASE DON'T

Valkryrie: LET'S PARTY IN THE HONOR OF STRANGE NOT DIEING FROM A GRAPE!

Thor: YEAH! I HAVE BEER!

Valkyrie: YAS BISH!

T'Challa: STRANGE, TELEPORT US THERE PLEASE!

Strange: SURE I GUESS

Shuri: LET'S FUCKING PARTY!

Peter: YEAH!

 

 

_**~6:09 AM~** _

__

Tony: Ughhhh

Tony: What happened?

Loki: You've been in a coma for a week.

Tony: Oh. Why are you in a cast?

Loki: Thor hugged me

Loki: This is the result.

Tony: Remind me to never let Thor hug me.

Loki: Noted.

Tony: Where is everyone else?

Loki: Probably dangling from somewhere wearing only guacamole.

Tony: ................

Tony: I missed a lot, didn't I?

Loki: Mhm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this is everywhere lmao. I just had to put that Sherlock reference in there. Whelp, guess that's it for now. Two more updates and I'm caught up. Dang, I really need to make a schedule for this.


	6. Remember kids, never drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone having to deal with the aftermath of the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has no theme whatsoever. Honestly, it's literally everywhere.

Clint: EVERYTHING'S SPINNNNNNNNING

Valkyrie: WHY DID I LET MYSELF GET SO DRUNK?

Sam: WHY IS THERE AN ANT ON THE FRIDGE?!

Scott: ANT-THONY NOOOOOOOOOO!

Hope: Oh lord.

Hope: You triggered his flashbacks again.

Bruce: I HAVE A BETTER QUESTION, WHY IS MY SEXY BUFF BF DANGLING FROM A FUCKING CHANDELIER COVERED IN GUACAMOLE?!

Strange: I don't think that's guacamole...

Bruce: WHAT?!

Ross: Let me taste it. 

Ross: Yeah, that is definitely not guacamole.

Shuri: WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOSE?!

T'Challa: MY CROCS BISH

Rhodey: CROCS?!?! 

Rhodey: GET YO ROYAL ASS OUTTA DIS HOUSE!

Sam: HONEY NO

Scott: ANT-THONY! I MISSSSSSSS YOU

Hope: A little help would be appreciated!

Peter: I'll help! 

Hope: You're a saint kid.

Peter: Why thank you! :D

Bucky: SERIOUS QUESTION

Bucky: HOW MUCH DID STEVE DRINK?!

Steve: WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK WOMEN HAVE TO HAVE A MAN IN THEIR LIFE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR THEM?!

Steve: GUESS WHAT BITCHES, WOMEN DON'T NEED NO MAN TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO! 

Steve: GUESS WHERE YOU CAME FROM? THAT'S RIGHT, A WOMEN! 

Steve: I FEEL BAD FOR THE WOMAN THAT HAD TO GO THROUGH THE PAIN OF BIRTHING YOUR SORRY ASS AND THEN HAVING TO DEAL WITH YOU AND YOUR FUCKING NONSENSE!

Steve: IF IT WEREN'T FOR WOMEN YOU WOULDN'T BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW, SO SHOW SOME FUCKING RESPECT!

Steve: BASICALLY WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS AND ANYONE THAT DISAGREES CAN GO YEET THEMSELF OFF A FUCKING CLIFF BECAUSE NOBODY LOVES YOU ASSHOLE!

Wanda: YOU GO STEVE!

Natasha: WHO TAUGHT HIM HOW TO CURSE?!

Natasha: FUCK IT, HE'S USING IT FOR A GOOD PURPOSE SO I'M GOING TO LET IT SLIDE!

Thor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thor: PLEASE TELL ME THAT WAS A DREAM

Pepper: WHAT HAPPENED?

Thor: PEPPER! OH THANK GOD!

Pepper: WHAT'S WRONG BIG BOY?!

Thor: I HAD A NIGHTMARE WHERE THANOS KILLED EVERYONE RIGHT BEFORE ME AND I WAS TO WEAK TO SAVE THEM!

Thor: IT HURT SO MUCH! ;-;

Pepper: OH YOU POOR BABY! COME GIVE MAMA PEPPER A HUG!

Thor: THANK YOOOOU!

Wade: IF YOU COULDN'T TELL ALREADY DEAR READERS, THOSE WHO IS/WERE DRUNK ARE TEXTING IN UPPERCASE WHILE THOSE SMART ENOUGH TO HOLD BACK ARE TYPING IN LOWERCASE! 

Ross: What is he talking about?

Strange: Who knows. He is drunk after all.

Loki: Is it sad that none of this suprises me?

Tony: Same tbh.

Clint: TONY?!

Steve: DID SOMEONE SAY TONY?!

Tony: Yes?

Steve: IT'S YOU!

Tony: Well I hope it is.

Bucky: YOU'RE AWAKE! 

Tony: Duh. Why are you stating the obvious?

Clint: WE THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER GONNA WAKE UP!

Tony: Well, you thought wrong.

Bucky: THANK GOD WE DID!

Loki: Urgh. It's to early for all this yelling.

Sam: I'M GLAD TONY'S UP AND ALL, BUT HOW ARE SOME OF YOU NOT HUNGOVER OR STILL PARTIALLY DRUNK?!

Tony: I awoke from my little coma around 6 AM.

Loki: I was able to get out of that treacherous jacket, but was in to much pain to sit up. 

Tony: I ended up getting up and moving onto his bed where we just talked about stuff until you guys woke up.

Loki: It was rather peaceful.

Tony: Mhm. Oh yeah, and if that stuff we mentioned ever starts bothering you again, then tell someone instead of keeping it to yourself. It's bad for you.

Loki: I'll tell someone, promise. But you better stop that little habit of yours mister, or else.

Tony: Or else what?

Loki: I shall not hesitate in turning you into a pig on The Day Of The Wild Hunt.

Tony: Okay! I kneel!

Loki: Good.

Tony: Anyways, why was Loki in a straightjacket to begin with?

Clint: *gayjacket

Strange: He wouldn't stop trying to get up, so we had to restrain him to the bed.

Thor: Why would Loki try to get up? He knows better than to stand when injured!

Loki: I wanted to kill the people that put me in that bed.

Thor: Oh.

Hope: Looks like the alchol high is starting to wear off.

Scott: Hope!

Hope: Yes?

Scott: It's been a while!

Hope: I was literally just talking to you a minute ago but okay.

Scott: How are you?

Hope: Good.

Scott: You know, Cassie's been wanting to see you again. 

Hope: She has? Well then, tell her I'll be over this weekend. I might bring a surprise too.

Scott: Okay!

T'Challa: You don't happen to be Hope as in Hope Van Dyne, do you?

Hope: Yes, that's me. Something wrong?

T'Challa: Nothing wrong. Just, well, you'll see.

Hope: ???

Shuri: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Shuri: IT'S HOPE VAN DYNE!

Shuri: HOW DID I JUST REALIZE THIS?!

Shuri: I REALLY AM AN IDIOT!

Shuri: I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOU AND YOUR PARENTS WORK!

T'Challa: Told you.

Hope: Awww. Thanks! I've seen some stuff about you too. That suit you made for your brother is awesome! I'd love to meet up sometime. Maybe we could work on a project together sometime in the future. 

Shuri: THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH! I'D LOVE TO!

Hope: ^^

Shuri: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Peter: Shuri.exe has stopped working 

T'Challa: How am I not surprised?

Steve: I don't feel so good.

Steve: Oh god, I think I'm gonna

Bucky: You okay Stevie?

Steve: Buck. Bathroom. Now. Help.

Bucky: Coming!

Tony: So, on that note, who's doing cleanup?

Loki: OH HELL NO


	7. Fruit, mice, and everything nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has a bunch of fruit and Scott makes a boo-boo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support! When I created this, I never expected so much positivity. Heck, I didn't even expect anyone to read this. That was obviously proven wrong. Anyways, all I can really say is thanks again! Now, moving on to the actual chapter.

Natasha: What the hell

Pepper: What's wrong honey?

Natasha: The kitchen

Wanda: What's going on in the kitchen?

Wanda: Oh

Valkyrie: It can't be that bad.

 

_**~Natasha has uploaded a picture~** _

 

Valkyrie: I take back what I said.

Bucky: How?

Tony: Why?

Steve: When?

Clint: What?

Loki: Oh yeah, sorry about that.

Bruce: Those are yours?!

Thor: Not trying to be rude, brother, but I hardly think you can eat that much fruit.

Loki: I know I can't, Thor! I'm not an idiot! I didn't want the fruit to begin with! When I went out to get some pudding, because you know I love pudding, some random girls just starting piling them onto me. I had to call Strange to help me carry all the fruit.

Strange: It's true. You should've seen him when I got there. He was practically drowning in fruit.

Loki: They kept throwing apples! Those things hurt you know!

Thor: Do you happen to know those girls' names Loki?

Loki: No, why?

Thor: I just wanted to have a little chat with them :)

Bucky: Scary

Thor: :)

Shuri: He atacc

Peter: He protecc

Sam: But most importantly

Clint: He gonna kick dem girls' ass

Scott: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh gays

Scott: Help

Scott: Please

Rhodey: What's up Scott?

Scott: More like what's down.

Rhodey: What?

Scott: Well I was feeding Hank's mice and noticed that one of them looked hurt.

Scott: So I picked it up and looked it over.

Scott: But then the mouse bit down on my suit button and I got shrunk down.

Scott: Luckily, I was able to shrink my phone with one of those shrinking things last second, which is how I'm texting you all now.

Hope: Scott, how many times do I have to tell you to not wear your suit while feeding the mice.

Scott: i'M sOrRy OkAy

Hope: Where are you so I can help out?

Scott: In a hole.

Hope: What?

Scott: Well that mouse I had got dropped when I shrinked.

Scott: And I didn't shrink it down too.

Scott: Apparently I look like mice food, because it started chasing me.

Scott: So I'm in a hole trying to hide from it.

Rhodey: Why?

Hope: Just, why?

Scott: I'M SORRY OKAY?!

Scott: NOW COME HELP ME BEFORE THIS MOUSE MURDERS ME!

Hope: I'm coming.

Rhodey: I'll come help too.

Scott: THANK YOU

Loki: God, this family really is messed up.

  


**** _**~Loki deleted a message~** _  


_**  
** _

Tony: Sorry, what did that message say Loki? I didn't see it before it got deleted.

Loki: Oh, it was nothing.

Tony: Whatever you say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized how long I actually make these chapters. So I'm gonna start making them shorter. Shorter chapters means more updates, so hey, there's your plus.
> 
> (I probably did the atacc protecc meme wrong. But shhhhhhhhhhh. I haven't seen it in a while.)


	8. Everywhere & Nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had a theme for this, but it got thrown out the window as I typed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watched Thor Ragnarok, felt them (gay) vibes, had to write something about it. So ya, this was born. This was meant to be out sooner, but my town is currently dealing with flood issues, so I've been a busy trying to save stuff and block out water. Since pride month just started, I am trying to get an update schedule going. Anyone got certain days they want to see updates? But anyways, let's get on with this chapter already.

Thor: So Barton, Wilson, Maximoff, and Shuri were showing me memes

Clint: You better belive we were!

Wanda: Yep!

Scott: Wait, you're talking about Sam, right? Or are you talking about Wade?

Scott: Because both have the last name Wilson.

Sam: I

Wade: OH SHIT

Wade: IT'S TRUE

Wade: HOW DID I NOT NOTICE ASDFGHJKL

Wanda: Plot Twist: Sam has secretly been Wade's son all along.

Shuri: OMG

Rhodey: Stop jumping to conclusions, someone get a DNA kit and test Sam to see if it's true.

T'Challa: GET THIS MAN A DNA KIT

Ross: D E A D

Peter: Mr. Stark

Tony: Yes?

Steve: That was fast.

Tony: Meh. I've developed a 6th sense I like to call the "parent sense".

Natasha: Oh same.

Peter: Anyways, can you buy Sam a DNA kit to see if him and Wade are related?

Tony: Sure. I was planning on buying a bunch of them and handing them out anyways.

Steve: Why would you do that?

Tony: Originally I'd research some stuff on every new person that entered to see if they were trustworthy. Of course, I've stopped now, but some of the information I found back then makes me feel like it's the least I can do. Besides, what's the point in being a billionaire if you don't use the money for a good cause?

Bucky: That

Bucky: That is so beautiful

T'Challa: Are you crying, Barnes?

Bucky: I'M AN EMOTIONAL PERSON OKAY?!

Hope: When the previously ruthless assassin turns out to be a huge softie.

Scott: Don't judge him Hope! We both know you're crying too. 

Hope: Trying to rat me out, huh?

Scott: Oh no

Hope: Come here Scott, I won't bite :)

Scott: Gays help

Hope: Scottie~

Scott: GAYS I'M NOT KIDDING

Hope: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW SO I CAN STRANGLE YOU!!!

Loki: I just heard a little girl scream.

Shuri: No, pretty sure that was Lang.

Loki: Oh. Then he must be dying because that sounded horrible.

Sam: I'm gonna go help him.

Rhodey: You know what? 

Rhodey: Same.

Thor: I don't exist. ;-;

Wade: I mean

Wade: You're not lying.

Thor: ;-;

Bruce: Nooooooooooo

Bruce: Don't cry babe.

Wanda: Just so everyone knows, Bruce just kissed Thor.

Wanda: Thor instantly lit up like an excited puppy.

Wanda: It was freaking adorable.

Loki: Yeah....

Loki: Well, at least someone cheered that oaf up, who knows what would've happened otherwise.

Valkyrie: Fortnite and beer

Thor: Sounds fun! :D

Valkyrie: THOR NO

Thor: But what about beating NoobMaster69 up?

Loki: Oh, you want to beat me up?

Loki: Then go right ahead.

Thor: Not you Loki, NoobMaster.

Loki: I am NoobMaster.

Thor: That's funny Loki. I thought you just said you're NoobMaster.

Loki: I did.

Clint: Top 10 Anime Reveals

Thor: BUT YOU WERE DEAD!!!

Loki: WAS I THOR?!

Loki: WAS I?!

Thor: I

Loki: CORRECTION, I WAS DEAD WHEN THANOS KILLED ME, I WENT TO HEL, MEET WITH HELA, WE TALKED, BECAME FRIENDS, SHE BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE, THE END

Valkyrie: WAIT ONE FUCKING MOMENT

Valkyrie: YOU TALKED WITH HELA?!

Loki: WELL SHE IS MY SISTER YOU IDIOT!

Valkyrie: ADOPTED SISTER

Loki: FUCK YOU!!!

Clint: Anyone else feel like they're invading on a private manner here?

Wanda: Me.

Bruce: Of course this happened again.

Clint: THIS IS NORMAL?!

Bruce: Well yes but also no

Bruce: They fight a lot, but it's just some stupid bickering.

Bruce: This time, as you can most likely see, it went a lot further. You can just feel the anger and pain radiating off their texts.

Bruce: Well, at least, I can.

Bruce: It might just be a Hulk thing though.

Clint: Dang

Wanda: Should someone check on them?

Bruce: That's probably the best idea.

Bruce: I'll take Thor since he is my boyfriend.

Wanda: Da-Clint, do you want Loki or Valkyrie? I'm sorta friends with both, so it doesn't matter which one I get.

Clint: Hmmm. I'll take Loki because I know him better.

Steve: He hypnotized you.

Clint: Exactly. I know him.

Bucky: Well be careful. From what I've heard, Loki's quiet the trickster.

Tony: What you heard would be very true.

Steve: If you need backup, Clint, then just send me a text, okay?

Clint: Got it. I'll go talk to him now.

Wanda: Then I'll go chat with Valkyrie.

Bruce: I'm already with Thor, so let's get started.

 

_**~Bruce is Idle~** _

 

_**~Wanda is Idle~** _

 

_**~Clint is Idle~** _

 

Steve: Be careful.

Bucky: Hey Steve, can we chat in DM

Steve: Hm? Sure Buck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned cliffhangers would exist, and I don't lie. I'm kinda wanting to make a fic off the talking thing, but idk. I feel this chapter is more angsty then funny. Oh well. You're welcome for me being a depressed teen. Well, until next time, bye!


	9. Deadpool Rides A Killer Unicorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a war over the best burger joint, everyone's afriad of Live-Action Sonic, and there's a virgin eating unicorn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I've been spelling Valkyrie wrong this whole time. Whoops. I'm sorry for being an idiot. ;-;
> 
> Also, sorry about the long wait. Life's a bitch. All I can really say. Anyways, I tried to make this as long as possible (which lead to extreme weirdness that I don't even understand myself) so hope that makes up for it some. Don't worry, the next chapter will be out Sunday or Monday, promise.
> 
> And yes, this is still Miley, I just changed my username because I lost a bet with my sister. But yeah, still the same person.
> 
> Anyways, onto the weird read!

* * *

Hope: I come back from dealing with Scott to see this.

Scott: What happened here anyways?

Sam: Honestly?

Sam: I don't even know.

Ross: To put it short.

Ross: Chaos.

Strange: Everything was nice and peaceful, then NoobMaster69 happened, the Asdgardians got in a fight, Wanda, Clint, and Bruce went to check on them, and Steve and Bucky are chatting about something in DM.

T'Challa: They sent those messages three hours ago! How long have they been gone?

Ross: A while.

Shuri: What are they talking about? 🤔

T'Challa: Shuri, what was the rule with the emojis?

Shuri: Don't use them. But why?

Sam: My phone normally doesn't run them, but when it does, they turn into eggplants.

Shuri: ..........What?

 

_**~Sam has uploaded a photo~** _

 

Sam: See? Eggplants.

Scott: Omg

Tony: Sam, drop your phone off at my lab later and I'll see if I can fix it. If not, then I'll just buy you a new phone. Sound good?

Sam: Sounds great! Thanks Tony!

Tony: No problem.

Peter: Mr. Stark is so nice. The media and anyone that says differently can go fuck themselves.

Natasha: WHO TAUGHT THE KID THAT?!

Wade: Ahhhhhh. Sorry. It slipped out by accident. I told him not to repeat it, but I guess that didn't work.

Peter: I'm sorry if I upset you Ms. Romanov, I just have very strong opinion on the media.

Natasha: It's fine kid. Just don't repeat those words ever again! They're bad for you.

Peter: Okay Ms. Romanov!

Wanda: Peter is a sunshine child, tell me otherwise.

Pepper: Wanda! How'd it go?

Valkyrie: It went great, Pepper! Wanda's a great listener. She even gave me some advice for a little problem I have.

Pepper: That's great to hear! Glad to see you're doing okay Valkyrie. And good job Wanda.

Wanda: Thank you!

Thor: My boyfriend is the best

Thor: You cannot convince me otherwise.

Valkyrie: Not gonna argue because Bruce is a nice gay.

Bruce: Thank you Valkyrie! ^^

Thor: He's getting me McDonald's! :D

Valkyrie: Ew. McDonald's is cancer. Burger King is better.

Thor: YOU WANNA GO 

Valkyrie: LET'S FUCKING GO

Bruce: And just as they were finally calm. 

Rhodey: Lies. Wendy's is obviously the best.

T'Challa: NO WAY

T'Challa: IT'S DEFINITELY HARDEY'S!

Rhodey: OH IT'S ON NOW KITTY CAT!

Shuri: My god, you all act like a bunch of children.

T'Challa: WHAT'S THE BEST BURGER JOINT THEN MISS KNOW-IT-ALL

Shuri: Steak 'n Shake

Thor: I mean....

Valkyrie: Steak 'n Shake is great....

Rhodey: Definitely one of the best....

T'Challa: I'm disgusted with myself for forgetting one of the best burger joints around.

Shuri: You should be.

Peter: What about Dair-ASDFGHJKL

Tony: We just solved this issue, kid, don't add more fuel to the fire.

Peter: Okay Mr. Stark!

Bucky: Yo Stevie, everyone's back!

Steve: THEY'RE BACK

Sam: That was faster then Sonic can run.

Hope: Who just screamed?

Strange: That would be Agent Ross.

Hope: Why?

Ross: Three words: Live-Action Sonic

Bucky: Why is everyone suddenly screaming?

Tony: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?!

Bucky: Not know what?

Steve: HE JUST GOT A PHONE TONY

Steve: HE HAS YET TO SEE THE HORROR THAT IS LIVE ACTION SONIC

Clint: HE HAS HUMAN TEETH

Wanda: DON'T REMIND ME

Shuri: You gays do know they're changing the design, right?

Ross: I KNOW

Ross: BUT THE PREVIOUS DESIGN STILL HAUNTS MY DREAMS

Peter: OH SAME

Peter: THAT DESIGN IS LITERAL NIGHTMARE FUEL

Bucky: What is happening?

Steve: Unimportant sweetie. Remember, never Google live-action Sonic.

Bucky: Okay???

Wade: Wait

Wade: What if Bucky's been the innocent one all along and author-chan has been tricking us into thinking it's Steve and Peter?

Natasha: I

Hope: Who is author-chan?

Scott: I'll do you one better, why is author-chan?

Hope: You know who this author-chan is?

Scott: Nope. I just did it for the quote.

Peter: That reminds me, why aren't the Guardians here?

Peter: I know they're not actually Avengers, but still feels kinda mean leaving them out.

Thor: I was going to add them, but then Quill started talking about Gamora and stuff. Besides, I don't think phone signals stretch that far.

Valkyrie: Wait, now that I think of it, I thought you were going with the Guardians?

Thor: I was going to, but then Loki showed up. I couldn't just leave him again. I've already lost him several times. I can't lose him again. No, I _won't_ lose him again. I refuse to. I'll protect him. No matter what.

Bucky: It's so beautiful

Ross: Tissue?

Bucky: Yes please.

Steve: Speaking of Loki, where are him and Clint?

Clint: Uhhhhh gays

Tony: There he is.

Clint: I need some help

Steve: What's wrong Clint?

Clint: Well you see

Loki: HE SUMMONED A FUCKING UNICORN

Thor: What?

Loki: HE SUMMONED A UNICORN

Clint: I'M SORRY OKAY?!

Wanda: What's wrong with a unicorn?

Strange: They eat virgins.

Steve: What?

Strange: Like I said, they eat virgins. They also love plums.

Pepper: UNICORN!

Tony: The unicorn seems peaceful though.

Strange: As long as it doesn't see a virgin or plum, it should be good.

Strange: Oh yeah, and nobody try to ride it.

Strange: Now I'm going to go find a spell to get rid of the unicorn.

Loki: I'll join you.

Wanda: Can I come too?

Strange: Fine with me. The more help the better.

 

_**~Strange is Idle~** _

 

_**~Loki is Idle~** _

 

_**~Wanda is Idle~** _

 

Bruce: How hard can it be to simply watch a unicorn?

Peter: What's a virgin?

Wade: Oh boy.

Tony: Unimportant kid. Just stay away from the unicorn.

Peter: Okay?

Tony: Any other virgins also keep away from the unicorn.

Shuri: Done.

Thor: I'll guard this creature.

Tony: You do that Thor. Anyone else that wants to help keep the unicorn safe and is not a virgin line up.

Scott: I love how this went from worrying over the aliens to finding out whether people are virgins or not.

Sam: Ikr? Never expected this when I signed up to be a hero.

Valkyrie: Gays, the unicorn just spoke.

Bruce: You understand unicorn now?

Valkyrie: I've always understood unicorn.

Bruce: The more you know.

Rhodey: Well, what did it say? I want to take a nap.

Valkyrie: It said "Daddy"

Sam: What is it with everyone being so damn kinky?

Ross: No kink shaming!

Sam: Bitch my kink is kink shaming.

Ross: *gasps in gay*

T'Challa: Did you just type out gasp?

Ross: Yes I did.

T'Challa: I love you bro.

Ross: I love you too bro.

Shuri: Hahahahahahaha, that's gay.

Wade: Pretty sure the goal of this chapter is to make it as long and confusing as possible.

Valkyrie: The unicorn is now chanting about being hungry.

Thor: Well, someone feed it.

Valkyrie: It wants to eat a virgin

Thor: Don't feed it.

Wade: Hmmmm

Wade: Anyone have a saddle?

Rhodey: What are you trying to do?

Wade: I want to ride the unicorn.

Hope: That Dr. Strange gay said not to ride it.

Wade: So? What does he know?

Peter: Wade, maybe you should listen to the Mr. Strange.

Wade: Awwwww. Spoil sport. What could go wrong?

Natasha: Did the unicorn just fart out rainbow sparkles? 

Pepper: Anyone else sleepy?

Tony: Just a quick nap would be nice.

Rhodey: Night night

 

 

_**~9:06 PM~** _

 

Strange: We found the spell!

Wanda: Now we can get rid of the unicorn!

Loki: Wait, why is it so quiet?

Wanda: I smell cotton candy.

Strange: So do I.

Loki: Is that blood?

Strange: It looks like it...

Wanda: I suddenly have a bad feeling about this.

Loki: Oh same.

Wanda: You don't think the unicorn killed everyone, do you?

Strange: Well I don't smell any dead corpses, so it's unlikely.

Loki: True, but it's still eerily quiet.

Strange: There's the door to the lobby.

Loki: I suddenly feel like I'm being watched.

Wanda: Like in one of those horror moviess?

Loki: Exactly.

Wanda: Then same.

Loki: Are we going through the door or?

Wanda: We're going through that door!

Strange: Get your magic ready just in case we have to fight.

Loki: Understood.

Wanda: Done.

Strange: On the count of three

Loki: 1

Strange: 2

Wanda: 3!

Strange: What the?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahahahaha. How do I even come up with this stuff?
> 
> But yeah, the unicorn totally wasn't partially inspired by the unicorn from Legends of Tomorrow. 
> 
> So, uh, it's time for me to go to bed now sooooooooo bye! (Also, my apoligizes for this madness)


End file.
